Sunday, October 25, 2015

Both Ends of the Spectrum

It never ceases to amaze me as I learn daily of the culture and pride of the kind folk that live up here on The Roan. As it seems to be in every locale, the folks in these parts range from the very wealthy to the poorest of poor; Yet, all here seem to be one big family and from what I’ve experienced…all stand ready to reach out and help a neighbor in need. In fact, I think this part of the country is as ‘Norman Rockwell’ as she comes.
I have found three common threads that weave the tapestry of life up here on Roan Mountain; the stubborn pride, the pick yourself up by your bootstraps mentality and that ‘git-er-done’ work ethic.
I can't help now but think of our awesome neighbors, Barney and Berta.  Barney is our local and fearless Constable and Berta, his sweet and quiet 'other half' is a real work horse, my morning walking pal and precious friend. 
Barney and Berta live in the next house closest to us down the holler and this past spring while planting their garden, Barney told me he was upset that a huge groundhog was living under his barn, eating his young seedlings. His barn and garden are located on his additional acreage across from his house and the lane leading up to the few homes in our neck of these woods.
Barney told me he was going to take care of the blasted rodent problem though.  I, unfortunately, did not focus on the word 'blasted'. 
Not long ago after my chat with Barney, I am relaxing on my front porch swing and a shotgun blast rocked my world!  Dear God!  I jumped in my car and rushed down to Barney's place and there he is, standing on his front porch, rifle trained on his subject across the road toward his barn, firing away.  He was simply 'gittin 'er done'. 
And then there’s that stubborn mountain pride.
I recently learned more about that deep pride when told about a couple of doctors who decided they loved exactly what drew most of us to these hills. They chose to move here from out west to start a new practice.
Wanna hear how it all went down?
Well, these two were best friends who graduated from medical school at the same time and decided, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel within the Township of Roan Mountain. 
One was a doctor by the name of Ashan and he was a psychiatrist; the other specialist's name was Dr. Fryman, a proctologist. 
After enjoying a warm welcome from the area people and settling in a rustic cabin on the outskirts of town, the two doctors found the perfect office space where there was a smidgen of privacy, understandably. Then the two began the struggle with what to put on their shingle to hang outside their door. 
It became obvious pretty fast either these two moved here from too far away or they thought they has a funny sense of humor because the sign they came up with read:  Dr. Ashan and Dr. Fryman:  Hysterias and Posteriors.  Well, that sign had not been up twenty minutes before the Town Council members began to be inundated with calls.  Just exactly who did these two jokers think they were and just exactly where did they think they were!  Didn't they realize there was pride in these parts?
Well, the doctors, not wanting to offend their future patients quickly changed the sign to read: Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.
Once again all hell broke loose. The ignorance of these uppity newcomers was unbelievable.  Thinking quickly the docs changed it to read: Catatonics and High Colonics.  This, also, was unacceptable so they regrouped.  How about Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives?  A no go.  Next, they tried Minds and Behinds - thumbs down again.  Now, the good people up here in these parts are long suffering but they still struggle to be patient. 
Another attempt resulted in Lost Souls and Butt Holes. This one almost brought out the shotguns but the Council's Chairman finally calmed the crowd with a passionate plea, "What would Jesus do?"
So the message was given again to the two doctors; Jesus and the township both loved them dearly but they would have to come up with a decent office name soon.  Another valiant try....the doctors tried Nuts and Butts - WHAT WERE THEY THINKING! 
Freaks and Cheeks - still no good.  Loons and Moons - not on your lives.  Almost at their wits' ends, the doctors finally camp up with: Dr. Ashan and Dr. Fryman - Specializing Odds and Ends. 
It is my understanding everyone loved this one and those two doctors to this day have a thriving practice right in the middle of the township.
Last but not least, I forgot to tell you about another couple of strong virtues of Roan Mountainians. They do have the patience of Job...and very forgiving spirits.
Now half the town as well as those living in these mountains have given their business to and are patients of Dr. Ashan and Dr. Fryman whether they need it or not.
**Kudos to the original posters of this (adapted)**

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