Sunday, August 23, 2015

Don’t Ever Buy a Dog When Lyin’!

I finally decided we needed a watch dog up here at Bear Cabin to hold at bay the Lions and Tigers and Bears. I ran across an ad in the Elizabethton Star and I must say…I was greatly intrigued. The ad was a one liner stating ‘Talking Male Lab Dog for Sale’, followed by a phone number.

Thinking the dog probably barked in some off-beat way (thus the 'talking' talent) and that the grandkids might find this funny, I decided to call the number. If this Lab was a good watch dog, he may be the perfect buy.

Setting up an appointment, I drove until I was in front of a broken down shanty-style house. I knocked on the door and the owner appeared and told me the dog was in the backyard, go take a look.

I walk around the house and see a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

“You talk buddy?” I ask him, feeling a little goofy.

“Yep” the Lab replies.

After I recover from the shock of hearing a dog really speak, I say “How in the world did you do that?!”

The Lab looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so... I told the CIA.

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country; I was sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.”

I was simply blown away. I go back in and asked the owner what he wants for the dog.

“Ten dollars” the guy says.
“Ten dollars!” I gasped in disbelief. Why would you let that Lab go so cheap? He speaks fluently and has traveled with the CIA the world over!”
“Ya gotta be kiddin', Lady!" "That dog lies through his teeth. Truth be known...he has never been out of that back yard!”

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